• Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
  • Me: *turns up music*
  • Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
  • Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
  • Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
  • Me:
  • Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
  • Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
  • Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
  • Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
  • Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
  • Lady cop: I can make that happen.
  • Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
  • Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
  • Entire train: *applauds*

vi9:

slaughterhouse-ninetwofive:

albinwonderland:

ediebrit:

oh my  god

huge trigger warning but oh my god

shots. fired.

No…no… Comedy central unfortunately hit the nail on the year and just ouch


sexadvicegoddess:

sarcasticlittlefuckk:

standard

I am crying I love this too much


thesassylorax:

theunithasasoul:

amazingavengers:

beifag:

k1mkardashian:

girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket 

having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry

none of you can do it discreetly anyways

we see you

everyone sees you




hungryhungryhiddles:

travelingbythoughts:

this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

THIS GIF LITERALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER

hungryhungryhiddles:

travelingbythoughts:

this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

THIS GIF LITERALLY JUST MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER


funnyandhilarious:

The Bitterness Though »

funnyandhilarious:

The Bitterness Though »


I walked in the door one day and my mom was like I smell weed and she was convinced I did weed and I was like Um mom I was at the nursing home all day and the sent is called old lady.


wtf-fun-factss:

How long is a moment - WTF fun facts

wtf-fun-factss:

How long is a moment - WTF fun facts


fencingfeels:

"Hello yes I have arrived"

fencingfeels:

"Hello yes I have arrived"


khaliasenpai:

whalegod:

tell me a secret

one time in high school i was sick with strep throat but the school refused to let me leave until after lunch and i was miserable all morning. so as revenge i coughed on my hands and rubbed them all up and down the stair well railing because i was angry and miserable.

about a month later literally half the school was sick with strep and bad colds. oops.



panicacidide:

Apparently it’s not socially acceptable for a man to invite another man out just for coffee or to go out for a meal, in case it’s perceived as a date. Like it’s fine if you wanna go to the pub and drink beer and have a chat but make it non-alcoholic and suddenly you’re not straight anymore? You can go to the cinema together but ONLY if it’s an action movie. You guys can’t even just go shopping with each other. Oh masculinity, so fragile, so strange.